Gran Turismo 5 Review

PSN ID: Venom_46 (Feel free to add me)

Gran Turismo 5 launched in November 2010 for Playstation 3 – nearly four years after the launch of the PS3 system. It was delayed over and over and over for what seemed like years. I remember having a pre-order at GameStop for over a year before finally canceling it after the last delay. I ended up buying it from Amazon on launch day anyway. When it finally launched, there was mass hysteria and expectations were through the roof.

I had purchased my PS3 in 2008 exclusively for Gran Turismo 5 which was when it was originally going to release. I had owned GT1 and 2 on the original Playstation and GT 3 and 4 on PS2. Anyway, I’m writing this review over a year and a half later because I think I finally have a definite handle on what this game is all about and can give a legitimate review. I don’t care what people personally think about the game or what the other fanboys think of Forza in comparison – this is solely on GT5 and what was expected and my impressions of the finished (and evolving) product. As a disclaimer, I’m a Level 38 A-Spec and Level 40 B-Spec. I own 904 cars (855 unique), have won 565 races, and driven over 45,000 miles. I also currently have 35 Gold trophies (and counting) in license testing. I’m a fairly good driver, so this review isn’t from someone who played it once and threw a tantrum because the game was too hard.

Cars

Before I get to gameplay, I’ll start with the selling point: the cars. At launch, this was a comprehensive list of almost every car you could ever want. I won’t name them all, but there were over 1,000 and you’d be hard pressed to be disappointed even if your favorite car was missing. For example, there isn’t a 2003-2004 Cobra, but the 2000 Cobra R is there. As you know, GT5 has what they call Premium models and Standard models. Premium models are a work of art. They look as realistic as a video game can possibly get, they’re more customizable, and they have full and accurate interior views. They just look phenomenal. Unfortunately, a smaller percentage of cars fall into this category. For the most part, the majority of the cars are Standard. By Standard, I mean copied and pasted from GT4. By no means do I exaggerate. The cars retain their polygonal form from the PS2 game. They all have generic interior views, can’t be zoomed in on in photography mode, and are much less customizable cosmetically. This will be a re-occurring theme in this review, but I find this extraordinarily lazy.

Final Fantasy XIII-2 Review

Final Fantasy XIII-2 Collector’s Edition

It’s been a long time since I updated this blog. The last time was when Final Fantasy XIII-2 was actually announced! That being said, since I’m a loser fanboy, I purchased the Collector’s Edition. It came with what’s in the above photo. A fancy case, 4-CD soundtrack, and special artwork book. I also picked up the nice hardcover strategy guide to match my Final Fantasy XIII one. What are we up to now? $125 or so? That’ll be important later.  On to the game!

One of Final Fantasy XIII’s biggest complaints was about the linear story line and ‘corridor’ levels. Fair enough, I agree. Those same critics showered Final Fantasy XIII-2 with praise because it wasn’t as bad. I agree with that as well. Sure, it’s cheating a little when it’s the same map in different time periods. I actually thought Academia was annoying as shit because I’d always get lost. The battle system was fine. I honestly didn’t care much for monster taming, though. I’d have preferred to just have more party members rather than this just so I had more options for Paradigms. Was it supposed to make the game harder? More on that in a minute.

I played the game on Normal setting and I died one time. It was the very last battle and I got hit with a Tetraflare and had no idea it was going to completely wipe me out. Next try and I won. This game was so absurdly easy, it bordered on insulting. I’m one of those people that doesn’t like it to be impossibly hard (Think Gran Turismo license testing), but not too easy either. I like a moderate challenge and enjoyable playthrough. Even the side missions where you’re killing the big optional bosses were a joke. Remember Vercingetorix from Final Fantasy XIII? That absurdly difficult Mark Mission? He’s back in FFXIII-2, just under a new name. I entered that battle expecting to get massacred. To my surprise, I easily defeated it using auto-battle. Long Gui? Easily defeated. Even Raspatil! It took longer, but I beat it with practically full health at the end. Those were harder than any of the story line bosses. I got a Platinum Trophy like 20 days after I got the game. Now, let me really get into what pisses me off.

We’ll ignore the shit ending for a few minutes. First, the entire story starts off with nonsense. The whole first game spent the entire time telling about Fal’cie and where they come from, what they want, etc. For it’s faults, FF13 had a good story and it developed the characters fairly well. Piss and moan that it isn’t FF7, 8, 9, 10 – fine. It did a good job. During the entire course of FF13-2, did you really give a shit what happened to Noel and Serah? The Fal’cie have been thwarted and the game starts off with everyone randomly disappearing and Lightning ending up in Valhalla. What is Valhalla, you ask? Good fucking question! There’s a goddess there, apparently not a Fal’cie. Who knows? Anyway, off goes this absurd story. Turns out Serah, who was just frozen in crystal for what should have been eternity, is all of the sudden a farseer who can see the future, except not really. She’s basically a noob for the whole game. So, off we go time hopping and screwing up future worlds. In the end, it turns out that nothing mattered. Caius only needed someone to stab him through the heart (Etro’s) so that she would finally be totally dead and I guess he can swallow the world with Valhalla and stop the Yeul death cycle.

This is so absolutely fucking stupid. Caius and Noel were the last two people alive in the world in 700AF. When Noel dies, it’ll just be ol’ Caius and Yeul. Sounds like the prophecy is fucking over to me! Furthermore, Caius’s plan to end one person’s early death cycle is to KILL EVERYONE. What sense does that make? Anyone? Furthermore, why the elaborate set-up to get Noel to kill him? I mean Jesus, the amount of time-hopping – for what? Just find someone to stand there while you force them to stab you! They try to explain that he needs a worthy opponent to kill him. Oh, really? Why? You’ll put off helping Yeul not die over and over for 7 centuries because you need a worthy guy to kill you? That blows up his whole theory and logic. He’s just evil, you say? We’ll never know!

Then we get to the end. I’ve heard real fanboys defend this game as ‘The bad guy finally wins’ or that no one is really dead and some complex babble. Bullshit. The way the game ended doesn’t matter because there was no ending. It’s the way the story was told and concluded that was absolute garbage. Don’t try to be smart and find some hidden meaning because it isn’t there. This game ended with no clear ending on purpose. I spent $125 on launch day and I got an incomplete game as far as I’m concerned. This game should have had a real definite ending. Closure for all characters. Instead, TO BE CONTINUED. Are you kidding me? This game had ZERO closure. ZERO. Where’s Hope? Dead? Noel? Snow? Sazh? What happened when Valhalla did its thing? Caius? Dead or alive? Might be alive? Why is Lightning a crystal? NO ANSWERS. A $60 game had NO ANSWERS. Tell me how that’s excusable. You can’t.

To add insult to injury, it is revealed that more story will be explained via DLC! WHAT!? I paid all this money for an incomplete game and you want to charge me more to see what happened? So it began. I bought the Sazh add-on. Fucking pointless. I got to play a card game and some other game to find out he was just in limbo. NO RESOLUTION when it came to his fate at the end of the game. There goes $5. Then the Snow DLC. I buy it and I can’t even come close to beating him in the Coliseum. This is the game that was so easy, and now with a fully loaded party, I can’t even touch the guy! Apparently, I’m supposed to spend months crossing monster traits to get these super characters. Anyway, I can’t see the Snow story because I can’t fucking beat him. Finally, the Lightning DLC. Will this finally conclude the game? NO. It only shows what happened to make her turn into crystal. And that made no sense either! You want costumes- $3 each! This entire story and execution of DLC is so wrong that I may never buy a FF game again.

I’ve spent probably over $150 total and I still have an incomplete game. It’s absolutely insane. At least Final Fantasy 13 ended with closure. If there had been no sequel, it at least ended with resolution. This has nothing. They probably won’t even make an XIII-3, either. They’re just that fucking stupid. They’re probably pretty pleased with themselves over at Square.

How long has Final Fantasy XIII Versus been in development? 6 years now? Not that it matters because the story will probably make no sense and have zero clarity. If you’re reading this and you’re thinking, “Oh, he just didn’t get it,” go to hell. There is nothing to get. There is no hidden message no matter how hard you try to see one. There’s my review of Final Fantasy XIII-2 – absolute shit.